Mariah Carey: Emancipate This!

I had this ongoing argument with some friends in college that Mariah Carey was better than Whitney Houston. One of them turned slightly trampy, the other needs serious rehab. So let's call it a tie. At least Mariah can still pull-off a respectable album and live performance despite her need to flash her back-fat at us.

So the first "Three Listens" candidate will be Mariah's new release "The Emancipation of Mimi" that hit stores on April 12, 2005.

Sometimes a song gets released before the album, as was the case with "It's Like That," the first track on the album. This song did catch my attention the first time I heard it. Naturally since the radio stations here in Hawaii like to fixate on the same 9 crappy songs for a month, I heard this song on the Internet before I heard it on the radio and I liked it immediately. My first thought was, "This will sound really good on the car stereo I bought to make up for the fact I was driving a minivan." The opening rap is catchy, and the verse has a good rhythm. The chorus also shows off Mariah's voice a bit. The song could do without the "rap" interventions that I hate so much -- for example, the random "Uh-huhs" and "C'mons" that are spread about the background by Jermaine Dupri. I see enough useless Rap backups for Rap artists. C'mon Mariah, you don't need those crotch grabbers. (I actually do like some Rap...if I don't think about it for too long.)

The second track is "We Belong Together." It took me three listens to start to like this one a little. The verses border on this "Rap-singing" style that Mariah uses a lot on this Album. You know what I mean -- when she speeds up words to try and fit it into a rhythm of the overall song. (I'll point out a GREAT example of this later.) The chorus is catchy and Mariah sings her own back-up, reminiscent of lots of her old things.

Next is "Shake it Off" that opens with another little rap. Really, Mariah, these guest Rap accents are a little frustrating. Peppered with "Yeahs" and "Uh-huhs" of the background rapper (whoever that is), the song starts off well-enough. Then Mariah starts her speed-singing that I was referring to earlier. "Gotta do" "By the time" "So don't bother" "You're gonna miss" "When at first" ... etc... She does it non stop.

Weak electric piano starts off "Mine Again" along with yet more of her speed signing. "I remember," I was too naive," "If I only had," and more... This song could have been a good showcase for her voice, but the lyrics are boring and cliche. This is definitely not a song that will make the radio airwaves.

Snoop joins Mariah on the next diddy, "Say Somethin." This song is unique compared to the others. The background is peppy and interesting. The only thing that kills this song is the weak drum back-up. But it flows well enough between Mariah and Snoop. Even though I never came to like this song, I appreciate the attempt. My only gripe is, "Can we please STOP singing shout-outs to song producers?" If I hear one more prop for the Neptunes or for Dog Child (or whoever Whitey tries to praise on half her new songs), then I will kill somebody.

"Stay the Night" has a retro feel too it. Unfortunately the retro-masked "Throw your hands in the air" ruins this song from the very beginning. It's such an abrasive texture against her voice. I could barely make it through this song 3 times.

I was initially not pleased with the next song, "Get Your Number" because it opens up with more Rap stuff. But the Rap chorus (I think it's Nelly) is actually catchy and I find myself looking forward to it more than Mariah's voices. The background is cool and laid-back. There are lots of melodies going on here, so it stays interesting to the ears.

If the next song was the "One and Only" song I ever heard from Mariah, I probably wouldn't be a very big fan. It was really boring to me. She was almost chanting the verses, then the chorus has that fast talking "Everytime I turn around" that is irritating. The second verse becomes a Mariah Rap, complete with a profanity "bleep." Then of course the guest Rapper, Twista, sings about 24-inch rims. Give it up, Mariah.

"Circles" provides us with some voice squeeks that can get on your nerves if you pay attention to it enough. I think her voice is aging a little. I doubt she smokes, but there's a roughness to some of the words she sings in this song. This song is heavy on her background singers too. I like their voices, but they seem too gospel for Mariah if they are too prevalent. This song is about as exciting as flypaper.

"Your Girl" is #10 on the disk. There's this weird Chipmunk perversion of her voice in the background that turns me off immediately in this song. I don't know why I remember this, but her "I should be your girl" lines remind me of the "I'll be your girl for all seasons" song from Grease 2. Don't worry, even those of you who suffered through that movie probably won't remember what I am talking about.

The next song, "I Wish You Knew" is my absolute LEAST favorite on the CD. I hate laugh tracks on sitcoms a lot. But what I hate even more is the fake "applause track" that Mariah has spread throughout this song. It's like she wants us to think she's singing this at a concert and the crowd is so excited about this crappy song that they can't help but scream during the performance. You hear it at the beginning and near the end when she stops the song to tell us about the "situation that she's talking about right now." Apparently she wants us to sing along with her if we "feel" her. The only thing I felt during this song was that anyone who claps for this song is probably deaf.

"To the Floor (featuring Nelly)" is just okay. I wasn't thrilled by it, but the chorus was catchy enough that I felt if this song got remixed just a bit, it would be radio-worthy. There's enough back-and-forth play between Mariah and Nelly and whoever else is singing on it to keep it interesting. I didn't like this one enough to put it on my playlist, so this one gets the borderline rating.

"Joyride" is a song you might use to put your baby to sleep at night. It tries to be melodic, but it's just a little dull. Throughout this album, it seems that Mariah either gets stuck on these lullaby-ish lyrical phrases or the speedy talk. I don't like either.

The last of the non-remixed songs on the CD is "Fly Like a Bird." I don't know what the "special-effect" is that gets added to the background voice in the beginning, but it is really irritating and unnecessary. It completely detracts from her singing and is about as useful in this song as a Weird Al background vocal would be. I *could* find myself liking this song a little if someone would "white-out" the guys voice, but that's not going to happen.

The album closes with two remixes (one of them 8+ minutes long) of "It's Like That." I consider these as bonuses, since we do get 18 tracks on the CD. Even though these were virtual repeats of the first track, they were easier to listen to than most of the songs on here. I won't rate these two tracks, so see the blurb for #1.

Conclusion:

I will add the following tracks to my permanent playlist:

It's Like That
We Belong Together
Get Your Number

For Comparison's sake, here's a quick retro look back at songs from Mariah's 1991 release, "Emotions." The *'s indicate songs that would have graduated to my playlist back then:

1. Emotions *
2. And You Don't Remember *
3. Can't Let Go *
4. Make It Happen *
5. If It's Over *
6. You're So Cold
7. So Blessed *
8. To Be Around You *
9. Till the End of Time *
10. The Wind

Mariah, that's an 80% graduation rate, vs. the measly 17% on your latest album. You can improve that percentage by cutting the crap, or go back to that style that created your fan base to begin with. Please, Mariah, we need another "Hero."